Let The Bullets Fly Where They May 

First off let me say this; I am a comic book geek nearly as much as I am a film geek, but I'm no Fanboy.

Oh I use to be a Fanboy no doubt there. However over the years I've had to adjust my line of thought to mesh comic book style to film reality. Face it some shit just wont fly on screen and the faster you understand that the better off you'll be.
I have no bone to pick with Lionsgate and none to pick with any particular person involved in the production. This is a wide open rant about the film so again let the bullets find the guilty parties...you know who you are.

Back about a year ago Mr. E contacted me to let us know he had read and written a script review for Punisher: War Zone, without missing a beat my only question was "How bad is this going to suck?" To which he replied "Like a Flowbee it's going to suck your will to live" His full response can be read HERE in his own words. 

Back before production began on this disaster word came that Tom Jane and crew were out. All in all I like Ton Jane as Frank Castle but the script was no where near worthy of his badassery (if it wasn't a word before it is now), so that news was really neither here no there for me. I mean lets face it we've seen two Punisher films and so far it's a foul ball and a strike (you decide which film is which on that). The way things were shaping up it seemed like Frank Castle was headed back for the dugout and there'd be no pizza party after just another pity party.

To be honest I'd forgotten there was a new Punisher movie headed our way, that is until Comic Con. Word spread like wild fire about the directors (Lexi Alexander) lack of appearance for the panel and rumor was she'd been sacked.

Up to this point I hadn't seen any footage or even the trailer, like I said I forgot about it. When I returned home I decided I needed a look at this thing, just to see if it's really as bad as everyone says it is. Yes sometimes you have to taste the milk yourself and see if its really that sour. But don't take my word for it take a sip for yourself I'll wait: SOUR MILK

Comic book films are a serious double edged sword; on the one hand you have a built in audience ready to devour whatever you offer up, on the other side of that blade you have a responsibility to service that core fanbase or risk setting off a tidal wave of resentment which can lead to a bad day at the box office. It's a fine wire to walk without a net but it?s been done and done well over the last few years so it's not impossible.

That said Frank "The Punisher" Castle represents one of the most basic characters in comics. You don't have to worry about a ton of special effects because the only powers Frank is store bought from Smith and Wesson. His costume is a white skull on black, not too tall an order. His back story and motivation could be taken care of in an opening credit montage.

So how is it that we are about to get yet another epic failure based on this character?

We've seen 2nd tier comic book characters make a go at the big screen with great success (both artistically and financially), not that I'd call The Punisher 2nd tier (not to his face anyway) but he's not spider-man either. So is this a case of the powers that be just putting Frank on auto-pilot or just trying to cash in cheap? Or Both?

Watching the trailer it's pretty easy to see that the people behind it have not a single fucking clue about what makes the Punisher an interesting character. The dialog and tone is so far wrong one could almost guess that the script was actually a direct to DVD movie set to star Steven Seagal that the studio bought and change the names and slapped a Punisher logo on the poster.  

I've seen better fan film trailers based on this property than this and not as any slight to the makers of fanfilms (I was one of you at one point so to speak) but if a major studio cannot produce a 90 second trailer better than a fanfilm there's a pretty big mess of a film to pull from.

Don't think for one minute that this is just some rant where I don?t have the answers or don't feel like I can back up my statements. Oh no I am POSITIVE I could hammer out a better script and film it with the exact same budget and get a far better result, and that's not any sort of bragging or arrogant statement. If Lionsgate wants to take me up on that offer they can most certainly contact me.

All one needs to make a successful film based on the Punisher is so simple one could break it down in seven easy steps:

1) Present his origin quickly and cleanly, there is no need for an 87 minute re-telling.
2) Give him a target.
3) Frank does his recon and figures out the weak points in the organization and goes to town breaking down each part while turning them on each other through their own mistrust.
4) The Punisher applies pressure and throws the criminal element into a tailspin until they have to focus on just taking care of him.
5) While every bad guy in town is out to take him down he starting picking them off one by one.
6) By the time act three starts the odds are so against Frank surviving when he goes to take out the big fish you aren?t quite sure if it's a suicide mission or not..and if it was would Frank turn back?
7) Frank finishes up his wetwork and vanishes off into the darkness leaving a lot of hats and empty shell casings on the ground.

By the time it's all said and done he's done some many fucked up things to get his gun off he becomes a damn ghost story to criminals and a legend people only whisper about.

He doesn't want to be on the evening news, he doesn't do trick torture scenarios with Popsicles and blow torches, he doesn't monologue, and he most certainly doesn't make friends with the dysfunctional neighbors. He's a stone cold killing machine of vengeance, nothing more nothing less.  

If nothing else The Punisher is the character embodiment of the age old question of capitol punishment and he shouldn't be treated with Hello Kitty mittens or be humanized more than necessary for storytelling.

It's sad that in a year where Marvel came into it's own as a film studio and gave us a glimpse of a much more cohesive universe where these characters could be tied together a studio could throw something like this out there to try and make a buck. The only good news is that it won't and at some point Marvel might be able to get the film rights back and do it properly.

A little respect for the property and the fans goes a long way. Perhaps Lionsgate needs to stick with those fun animated Marvel properties and leave the live action stuff to the professionals.

With that my clip is empty, one can only hope message received and that my gun wasn't loaded with blanks. Feel free to add your thoughts if you like below or if you feel like telling Lionsgate how you feel I have that info for you as well:  

Lionsgate: This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it or 310-449-9200
*Be respectful, the person answering these inquires is likely just some working stiff. No need to be foul*

Make Mine Marvel (Literarily)   
Mikey

 

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