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HELLBOY II: The Golden Army - Review Hot

Movie Reviews

Release Date: June 11, 2008
Studio: Universal Pictures
MPAA Rating: PG-13
Genre: Adventure • Fantasy
Director: Guillermo del Toro
Writers: Guillermo del Toro, Mike Mignola
Cast: Ron Perlman, Selma Blair, Doug Jones, Jeffrey Tambor, Luke Goss, Anna Walton
Synopsis: Hellboy is Back!
Joined by Abe Sapien, Liz Sherman and newcomer Johann Krauss, the agents of secret government agency The Bureau for Paranormal Research and Defense, must prevent a war from breaking out between the elven folk and mankind and must keep THE GOLDEN ARMY from arising again at all costs.
The Review: It’s been four long years years since we’ve seen Hellboy and the rest of the gang and I’m happy to report it’s been worth the wait.

HELLBOY II: THE GOLDEN ARMY opens with a flashback to New Mexico, 1955 (No word if he ever crossed paths with Indiana Jones during the good doctor’s many apparent visits to the “Land of Enchantment”) where an eleven-year old Hellboy is getting ready for bed.

With this tried and true filmic device to bring back the previously deceased PROF. TREVOR ‘BROOM’ BRUTTENHOLM (the great for years John Hurt, also appearing in this summer’s INDIANA JONES AND THE KINGDOM OF THE OHMYGAWD IS THIS TITLE OVER YET), the young boy Hellboy turns off “The Howdy Doody Show” to hear his father tell him (and us) a bedtime story.

Speaking of INDIANA JONES, last night, as I lay awake counting electric sheep, I pondered how, thanks to movies, I have no idea when “The Howdy Doody Show” was shown on TV. I could look up what year it was broadcast, but I wondered-what time was it on?

According to BACK TO THE FUTURE III, it was shown in the early morning. INDY IV’s, “Howdy” was on sometime in the afternoon (methinks), and now, thanks to HELLBOY DOS, I’m thinking it could’ve been on in the late evening. Maybe that Buffalo Bob Smith guy just did the show 12 hours a day every day.
Hey- it was the 1950s- people had a different work ethic back then.

Where was I?

Hellboy’s pop tells the amazing back-story of the epic battle that once occurred between elves and humans and how that conflict resulted in the creation of an awesome “Golden Army”.

It’s to director Guillermo del Toro’s credit that this sequence- roughly the equivalent of the epic prologue to Peter Jackson’s THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING is shown from the point of view of Hellboy’s imagination: it’s all done with wooden puppets.

It’s charming and low budget (but not as horrifically awful as the cheap costumes filmed in silhouette shown in the “live action” prologue of Ralph Bashki’s LORD OF THE RINGS movie) and it manages to set up the rest of the film’s bad guys and good girls.

From there we go back to the future-or the present for all of you keeping track- and to New York City.

Some stuff happens.(Hey-I’m not gong to spoil everything-just all the major plot points and all the good parts!)

Meanwhile,comma, something is rotten in the state of New Jersey and, as IESB.net script reviewer Mr.E wrote last year “ not all is kittens and pamcakes over at the Trenton, NJ office of the Bureau for Paranormal Research and Defense (BRPD).”

Hellacious HELLBOY (the perfect Ron Perlman) and his recently-moved in-walking pyro-girl LIZ SHERMAN (femme noir Selma Blair) are fighting. Again.

Elsewhere, FBI PALOOKA TOM MANNING (Jeffrey Tambor) is lamenting his lot to America’s favorite amphibious agent of the arcane: ABE SAPIEN (the multi-talented, multi-tasking Doug Jones) when the alarms go off and the troops must cross the river to Manhattan to follow up on all the seriously weird stuff I didn’t tell you about two paragraphs up.

In a continuing effort of sheer movie-critic laziness, I’m going to turn this part of the plot description back over to Mr.E.

Rest assured though, he’s totally cool about it and he’s well-compensated for his hard work. Take it away, Mr.E!

Hell, Abe and Liz get themselves to the utter mess of the crime scene. There’s a tussle or two with some remaining winged wackies and in the process of removing them, HELLBOY & CO. get “outted” to the real world. Oh Crap!

And Manning is out too, out of the top spot at the BPRD that is, and replaced by JOHANN KRAUS (body by James Dodd, voice by Fox animation savior Seth MacFarlane). KRAUS is a charming, well-spoken containment suit, with a diving bell of a face. Apparently, he’s nothing but his own vaporous form.

The action moves to a coup de etat in the world of the world of the FAIRIES with the twins PRINCE NUADA (Luke Goss) and the lovely PRINCESS NUALA (the also lovely Anna Walton). The PRINCE, it seems, is so over a truce that was formed between MAN and THE MAGICK FAMILIES centuries ago (and at the start of the movie for you late-comers).

He wants to raise the GOLDEN ARMY and rid the planet of normal folks like you and me.

Searching for clues, the BPRD agents visit the bizarre “Troll Bazaar”(look for the giant set of dentures that are carried across the screen at the beginning of the sequence).

Nuala escapes from her creepy brother and falls in with Abe.

Hellboy’s been busy too, engaging in engaging fisticuffs with a too-cool troll and after that, there’s action aplenty as HELLBOY dukes it out with THE ELEMENTAL if you cross TREEBEARD THE ENT with the Cloverfield Monster’s little brother, you’ll get the picture.

And Abe, the big blue-green froggy dork, falls in love with Nuala.

About now is the best part of the movie:
The duet between Abe and Hellboy. And at this point, you may be saying “Whaaaaa?” Can I assure you that all of those additional aaaas and the missing t are entirely justified?

Not yet convinced? What If I told you that the song in question was a big hit from the Barry Manilow collection?

Yup. It’s more than true. It’s a funny, touching and to quote Admiral Kirk in STAR TREK II :THE WRATH OF KAHN it’s “…human”

The bit even got scattered applause at the screening I attended.

As you probably know, in HELLBOY I, Abe was more than ably created and articulated by Doug Jones.
Jones turned what could’ve been a series of really cheesy bad man-in-a-suit moments into a sublimely smart and likable character.

(Okay I’ll admit it, I have a man crush on Abe Sapien.)

Anyway, his amazing performance was,uh,lessened by the fact that the-powers-that-be somehow decided that Doug’s own voice wasn’t marketable and they hired the nimble tones of “Fraiser’s” David Hyde-Pierce.

Don’t get me wrong. I like David Hyde Pierce and hearing “Niles Crane” speak when Abe opened his fish mouth had never been a distraction or anything in all of my many many viewings of HB I, it’s just a case of Doug Jones not getting the total rewards and recognition for the work he did.

Ron Perlman is awesome. He completely IS Hellboy, and for some reason, I just pictured him in in full…Hellboy playing Humphrey Bogart’s Rick in CASABLANCA and for some reason, it worked for me.

If you’re a Ron Perlman fan, I highly recommend you listen to his commentary track for ALIEN RESURRECTION and wait till you get to his revelations about what really happened during the arduous filming of that flick’s flooded kitchen scene.

The flinty-voiced Selma Blair, despite Liz’s human torch (copyright and trademark Marvel Comics) act, is in the thankless position of being the “normal one”. I’ve always enjoyed her ultra-dry delivery and I’m looking forward to see what’s next for her and for Liz.

What’s not to like?
Well, I missed IVAN THE CORPSE. I know, he disappeared into a gaping abyss at the end of HB, but hey-if he was dead to begin with, that shouldn’t have kept him from making a return appearance in the sequel.

Also not returning is earnest young FBI Agent JOHN MEYERS. Since I knew from his first moments on screen in HB1 that he was nothing more than an audience surrogate, I didn’t miss him a bit.

HELLBOYII: THE GOLDEN ARMY is truly a Guillermo del Toro film. It’s obvious he’s staked out a larger area of the playground than simply playing in Hellboy creator’s Mike Mignola’s sandbox as he did the first time around.

Mostly gone is the slavish devotion to the Mignola color palette and the monsters and beasties are more,say, PAN’S LABYRINTH.

If you look at del Toro’s IMDB.com profile you can see that he is one very extremely in demand guy right now.
From being picked as the director for the Peter Jackson produced THE HOBBIT and THE HOBBIT 2: THE WRATH OF SMAUG (I’m kidding!) and everything else, it might be awhile before he gets to come back to see what Hellboy,Abe and Liz are doing.

Based on the many merits of Hellboy II, I’m willing to wait as long as I have to for my man, Guillermo.
No matter what Sam Raimi wants.

HELLBOY II: THE GOLDEN ARMY is a He....ckuva fun film! Check it out!
Rating: 4.5 out of 5

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