IESB Presents - FilmGeekz.com - 10,000 B.C.

10,000 B.C. - Review Hot

DVD Reviews

Studio: Warner Bros.
Genre: Action • Scifi • Comedy
Street Date: June 24, 2008
Director: Roland Emmerich
Number of Discs: 1
MPAA Rating: PG-13
Cast: • Joel Virgel
• Camilla Belle
• Cliff Curtis
• Steven Strait
Running Time: 109 minutes
Format: Standard

DVD Specs: Video: Widescreen 2.40:1 Color (Anamorphic), Standard 1.33:1 Color

Audio: ENGLISH: Dolby Digital 5.1, SPANISH: Dolby Digital 5.1, FRENCH: Dolby Digital 5.1

Subtitles: English, Spanish, French
Special Features: • SD Special Features
- Extended Ending (TRT = 2:30)
- Deleted Scenes (TRT = 10:25)

• Blu Ray Special Features
- Extended Ending (TRT = 2:30)
- Deleted Scenes (TRT = 10:25)
- A Wild and Wooly Ride (TRT = 13:14) - An in-depth look at the entire process required to re-construct the period of “10,000 B.C.” focusing on the real pyramids and the recreation of the period animals seen in the film
- Inspiring an Epic (TRT = 12:54) - The real history of 10,000 B.C. and how it influenced certain elements of the story and the design of the film
Review: It's Like Apocalypto For Dummies!

Last year I had the displeasure to review Pathfinder, a movie that sort of looked cool in the trailers and on paper but came off as a total irritation. When the trailers started popping up for 10,000 B.C. all it reminded me off was an even less cool Pathfinder that was trying to be an Apocalypto knock off. While I do my best to enter any film without preconceived notions, nothing is going to stop many a critic from comparing this to either or both of those other recent films.

Before I dive into the many flaws of 10,000 BC let me say it loud and proud; I like ID4, Stargate, and The Day After Tomorrow, heck I even enjoy Godzilla for what it is. Do I love those movies? Not by a long shot, but they are in my DVD collection and they do see the light of day at least once during the year (I'm guessing). So I'm not a Roland Emmerich hater by any stretch. Popcorn movies have a place in my life and Roland can make some good ones.

That said this movie is stunningly awful, and not in a good way. They handle what could be an epic story with the same sensibilities as Godzilla was handled and it shows. Throwing in little bits of humor (nut shots included) at moments when you might actually start to get sucked in. For the entire attempt they might as well be giving the audience a kick in the crotch.

Shit or get off the pot: You have to commit to a story like this, going half way and then asking the viewer to forgive the flaws is just the wrong way to go about it. People in 10,000 B.C did not have manicured beards, nails and hair. The women didn't have eye liner and mascara (I'm going to run with this assumption, not based on any factual evidence)...think I'm nitpicking? Stick with me it gets worse.

Ok so you have a tribe of people, all of which speaks English and all of which are clearly of different nationalities and regions. COME ON! At least cast people who look remotely alike!! Ok so when the bad guys arrive they speak another language, but once again they range in nationality…*sigh*. I get you not about all of this, one person will sound German, his brother in arms sounds like Nacho Libre, the girl next to him like she’s a reject from The O.C. (complete with smudged mascara). I was waiting for Borat to walk into frame and do some high fives.

As the story moves on they reach the bad guys home base, where not one but two forms of pyramids are being constructed by the slaves of many nations. For a few moments I get lost in my own thoughts that maybe..just maybe the aliens from Stargate will turn up and save this movie....I’m even willing to trade this Megan Fox clone on screen for Jaye Davidson and that is just WRONG!!

Every thing else is just so typical and boring, even the slave rebellion was pretty bland. It takes a mighty bad film to make the Scorpion King look like a smart flick but I’ll be dammed if this doesn’t come pretty close.

Like I said shit of get off the pot; they could have dug in and made a real epic or kept if light enough to enjoy as a popcorn flick..they chose none of the above.

At least none of these cavemen tried to sell me car insurance.
Buy It Now:
Rating: 1 Star

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