Studio: New Line Cinema •
Warner Bros. Genre: Horror Street Date: April 22, 2008 Director: Eric Valette Number of Discs: 1 MPAA Rating: PG-13 Cast: • Shannyn Sossamon
• Azura Skye
• Ana Claudia Talancon
• Edward Burns
• Ray Wise Running Time: 87 minutes Format: DVD Specs: Video:
Widescreen 1.85:1 Color (Anamorphic)
Standard 1.33:1 Color
Audio:
ENGLISH: Dolby Digital 5.1
SPANISH: Dolby Digital 5.1
FRENCH: Dolby Digital 5.1
Subtitles:
English, Spanish, French Special Features: Trailers Version: Standard Store Exclusives: A Free Cursed Boost Mobile Phone! Good For One Use Before Death! Review: MOVIE:
Right off the bat, "One Missed Call" breaks 2 crucial Commandments of modern Horror movie making!
1) Thou Shall Not Remake a Recent Japanese Horror Movie (ok, the first "Ring" was good, but what about the 15-20 crapfests that have followed?? The odds are just not in favor of a good Americanized Japanese Horror Flick!).
2) Thou Shall Not Make a PG13 Horror Movie (Really??? Does this need to keep being re-stated??? There is a reason Horror movies are R! There are things that belong in a Horror film that flat out warrant an R rating (scares, language, gore, titties, etc.)- taking that stuff out would be like making an R rated Porno! It just doesn't work! I get the fact that you are trying to broaden your audience, but Horror, as a genre, is FOR AN ADULT AUDIENCE!!! Now I'm not one of those ninnies that tell you that kids shouldn't see horror movies, quite the contrary! (Hey, I was a kid, and If there was an R rated Horror movie I wanted to see, I found a way... it wasn't that hard, and I certainly didn't want to see a movie watered down for my age!)
So, it's with these 2 strikes that we discuss the latest watered-down Japanese Re-tread to pump out the anus of the tinsel town's movie making monsters. My first issue upon viewing this is to add to the reasoning of the first Commandment listed above (Thou Shall not Remake a Recent Japanese Horror Movie). Not only are these remakes ass-tastic, but (and I'm going to get crucified for saying so), most of the originals suck too!!! This whole "ghost in the machine" thing has run it's course! I freely admit, I grooved to the whole "killer video tape" deal, but a Cell-Phone??? Really??? What's next, Killer iPods??? The whole premise of these movies are just retarded! Now, the only redeeming things in the Japanese versions or the really creepy scares that get to you.. (BUT, in order to pull that off stateside, you need the R rating! Hence the whole problem with this movie!) Soon enough, I'm going to be starring in my own Japanese horror movie as the man who mysteriously shot himself after watching too many Japanese movies... haunted, no... Frightening, definitely!
Is this movie at least scary? Not in the slightest! (The scariest thing about this movie is the poster, which is on the cover of the DVD, so If you want a good scare, go to BlockBuster walk by the display and see that freaky chick with mouths for eye, go "AH! Damn, that's freaky!"... and rent something else!)
So, we have a lame story and no real elements of a horror movie... Does the film have any redeeming qualities, perhaps, some fine performances? NOPE, Shannyn Sossamon has about as much screen presence as a plastic bag (Ok, that's a little harsh, I apologize to the plastic bag in "American Beauty" you had much more screen presence than the chick in this movie!). Ed Burns is alright as the Cop hot on the trail of the haunted cellphones.. (oh, and everyone has the EXACT same phone! -don't use Boost Mobile! They haunted!). This movie truly is just a waste of time from start to finish! Do yourself a favor and take this off your NetFlix queue now! "One Missed Call" is better off as One Missed Movie!
DISC
Wow, Warner's must have known they had a winner on their hands since they delivered this loaded, high-quality Disc to support "One Missed Call" (/end sarcasm)
The video quality is grainy, the colors are all dull. The surround track does boast some nice effects, but nothing to write home about. Special Features? Not here! The menu is horribly bland, but there is an assload of forced trailers! This is just a crappy disc! (about the only thing worth watching on this entire disc, movie included, is the trailer for LOST BOYS 2: THE TRIBE - "who ordered the Stake?!?!"... BOO YEAH!!! Buy It Now: Rating:
